


Chapple-Pie

by lademoiselledulac



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Gwaine and Gwen make an apple-pie with cheese, Humor, No beta we die like every friend Merlin ever told about his magic, Probably a crack fic? I dont really know, minor morgwen, or more like attempted humor, technically Ewther has a line too but he doesn't get his own tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-01-08
Packaged: 2021-03-12 16:00:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28638156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lademoiselledulac/pseuds/lademoiselledulac
Summary: Gwaine needs Gwen's help because he can't bake.In the end they break into the deans office. Who expected Gwaine to NOT get them in trouble?
Relationships: Gwaine & Gwen (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Chapple-Pie

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by that one scene. You know which one I mean.

“Hey. Hey! Psst, Gwen!”  
“What now Gwaine? I have to get these books back to Morgana”  
“Yeah, yeah, you gotta get to your girlfriend, I know that. But this is a time sensitive mission!”  
“What kind of trouble have you got yourself into this time?”  
“It’s no trouble, I promise!”  
“And you really think I’m gonna believe that after last Saturday?”  
“Ha, yeah, that one was fun, but I SWEAR this is different”  
Unfortunately, Gwen was not immune to Gwaine’s puppy look.  
“I’m gonna trust you ONE LAST TIME, alright? If you get me into trouble, I am NEVER helping you again”  
“YES”, Gwaine pushed his fist into the air, “you’re not gonna regret it”  
“Ok, shoot, what’s the matter? And hurry cause getting these books to Morgana is a time sensitive mission as well”  
“Gwen you really need to chill. But ok, I’ll be quick. I had a dream this night”  
“And what does this dream have to do with me?”  
“I’ll get there in a second. The important part is, I dreamt of eating a cheese that tasted like apple pie!”  
“Gwaine, if this is a normal dream of yours, I really don’t want to know what other kind of stuff your brain makes up at night”  
“Nah, I don’t think you do. The thing is, I told the guys about the whole thing and they were pretty disgusted-”  
“I am pretty disgusted myself-”  
“But that’s not the point. The point is, that I think the combination of apple pie and cheese would be bloody delicious, and I told the guys as much”  
“Gwaine, where is this going, and WHAT DOES IT HAVE TO DO WITH ME?”  
“Patience darling, patience”  
“Please don’t call me darling”  
“Alright, alright. The ACTUAL point is, that Percy bet me, that if I actually made a cheese-apple-pie, it would taste like shit”  
“And you accepted the bet?”  
“Of course, I accepted the bet”  
Gwaine looked extremely offended.  
“Of course, you accepted the bet.”  
“Yes. And this is where you come in. I can’t bake”  
“I see where this is going and I don’t like it”  
“You! – are going to help me make the chapple-pie!”  
“Chapple-pie?”  
“Chapple-pie. You know, cheese and apple, chapple? I just made it up”  
“Chapple-pie”  
Gwen had the Why-am-I-friends-with-this-idiot-look on her face.  
“Please? Please, please, please, please, please?”  
She was again reminded of the fact that saying no to Gwaine’s puppy-face was an impossible task.  
“Ok, ok, I’ll help you. But I have to get these books to Morgana first!”  
************************************  
“Morgana! Are you feeling any better yet?”  
“I feel like I’m about to die”, Morgana croaked out.  
“Now, now, sweety, no reason to be so pessimistic”  
“I am not being pessimistic!”  
“Ok, ok. Here are the books you needed. I’m afraid I can’t keep you company. Gwaine wants me to help him make a chapple-pie”  
“Gwen, what the hell is a chapple-pie?”  
“It’s an apple-pie with cheese. Don’t ask”  
“I wasn’t about to. Asking about anything Gwaine is up to is a waste of time”  
“I know, I know. But he swore not to get me in trouble”  
“Let’s see if he can keep that promise”  
************************************  
“Gwaine. Gwaine! Hey!”  
“Gwen! How lovely to see you! Did you get out of the bacteria-culture that Morgana’s room is right now?”  
“It is NOT a bacteria-culture! She just has a little cold”  
“Whatever you say”  
“Anyway. We can get going with the chapple-pie”  
“Yes!”, he pushed his fist into the air.  
“Ok, where are the ingredients?”  
“What ingredients?”  
“The ingredients we need for the chapple-pie!  
“Gwen, I have no idea how to bake. I don’t think me buying the ingredients would have gotten us anywhere!”  
“Man, you really are lazy”  
“Am not!”  
“Yes, you are. We’ll just have to go shopping now”  
“…”  
“Gwaine, what kind of cheese should we take?”  
“In my dream I was eating this big cheddar wheel”  
“Then we’ll go with cheddar”  
************************************  
“GWEN!”  
“What?”  
“Gwen, get over here!”  
“Jesus, I thought someone died. What is it?”  
“They don’t have cheddar anymore!”  
“Then we’ll have to take something else. I suppose Gouda will work as well”  
“No! I want cheddar!”, Gwaine whined.  
“But there is no cheddar left, you just said it yourself. We have to go with something else”  
“But it was cheddar in my dream so it needs to be cheddar!”  
“Gwaine, chill. It’s just cheese”  
“Gwen, this is of dire importance! We need to be accurate! Remember how Merlin is always talking about how crucial it is to use the right chemicals when experimenting? Because otherwise everything will go POOF?”  
“Yes, I know Merlin’s chemistry rambles. But Gwaine, this is a chapple-pie not an experiment. Using Gouda won’t blow up the pie, because gouda is not an explosive!”  
“But Gwen!”  
Gwen decided that Gwaine’s puppy face should count as blackmailing.  
“Ok, ok! Where do you plan on getting cheddar on a Saturday evening then, hm?”  
“…”  
“Gwaaaine?”  
“…”  
“Gwaine!”  
“…”  
“No!”  
“Why not Gwen?”  
“I will do no such thing!”  
“But Gwen! What about the chapple-pie?”  
Here it should be noted that it was common knowledge amongst the student body that the dean, Mr. Pendragon, loved cheddar. He loved cheddar so much that he always had a little bowl filled with cheddar slices on his desk. When said bowl was empty, he simply reached into his mini-fridge. That always contained at least one whole wheel of cheddar.  
It should also be noted that Mr. Pendragon guarded his cheddar jealously.  
The bowl on his desk wasn’t like the sweet-bowls in guidance-counsellor offices, where you could take something when leaving. Noo. The cheddar was reserved for the dean, and the dean only.  
By some students Mr. Pendragons serious attitude towards his cheese was seen as a prompt to prank him. There had been cheddar-theft, cheddar-being-exchanged-for-another-cheese, and all other kinds of shenanigans. This always made the Mr. Pendragon furious. The few times he caught a student in the act of misdemeaning it had always been a narrow miss of expulsion as a consequence.  
Naturally, Gwen was rather opposed to breaking into the dean’s office to steal his cheddar.  
“Gwaine I will NOT break into the dean’s office to steal his cheddar!”  
“But Gweeen! If we don’t do this the whole chapple-pie thing was for nothing!”  
“Or we could just take Gouda!”  
“We CAN’T take Gouda!”  
Gwen was now sure that Gwaine’s puppy-face should have been labelled a war crime at the Geneva Conventions.  
“Ok. But let’s be smart about this alright?”  
“You’re the best”  
Gwen was already cursing herself for getting in on the chapple-pie mission.  
************************************  
“It’s not too late, we can still turn around and just get some gouda from the store”  
“Gwen, we talked about this. We CAN NOT take GOUDA!”  
“Ok”  
“Don’t worry. This will go just fine”  
“I’m not so sure about that”  
The two of them were now standing under the window of the dean’s office.  
“Gwen, you’re the lighter one of us so I’ll give you a leg-up and then you pull me in”  
“You do know that I hate you for this right?”  
“Gwen! Hate is a very strong word!”  
“Strongly dislike then. But only because I don’t want to hurt your feelings”  
“Good. Now get up there!”  
“…”  
“…”  
“…”  
“Gwaine, hurry and get your cheese so we can get out of here!”  
“Gwen, you won’t believe this, but the mini-fridge is locked. With one of these big combination locks”  
“You’re not serious right? Tell me you’re not serious!”  
“Do you think I would make jokes in a situation like this?”  
“Ok, that’s it. We’re leaving. NOW”  
“No! we can’t leave without the cheddar! Think Gwen! What could be the code?”  
“Ugh. Ok, shit, what could it be?”  
“I thought you were supposed to be the smart one of us!”  
“Gwaine, you know I can’t think under pressure!”  
“Hurry!”  
“Shut up. It might be his birthday? He IS a narcissist after all”  
It should be noted that they only knew what Mr. Pendragons date of birth was because one terrible night Gwen had had to accompany Morgana to his party. She still shuddered at the thought.  
“Ok, I’ll try”  
“…”  
“…”  
“…”  
“It worked!”  
“Great! Now get the cheddar and we’re done. I don’t want to be here to find out if he installed an alarm system for his cheese”  
************************************  
“See Gwen? That wasn’t too bad!”  
“Gwaine, we broke into Mr. Pendragons office and stole his cheddar, just so you could make a chapple-pie! This was definitely not on my to-do-list for the semester. You corrupted me Gwaine!”  
“Good. You needed some corrupting! You’re too nice. You gotta learn how to be a little selfish”  
“But I don’t want to be selfish! Plus, your corrupting just got me to help you steal the deans cheddar!”  
“Gwen, stop whining, and let’s start with the chapple-pie”  
Now, I don’t want you to have to witness the chaos that Gwaine created in the next few hours, so we’re gonna skip that part. Let’s just say that the only reason the building is still standing is because Gwen prevented the worst from happening.  
“Gwen, this chapple-pie looks fucking delicious! I am SO gonna win that bet”  
“You know what? You said I should be more selfish. I want half of your win”  
“Gwen, I am proud of you”  
“I think you being proud of me is nothing I can be proud of”  
“This is a matter for another time. I am now going to get this delicious chapple-pie to Percy, so he can see how scathingly he lost this bet”  
“And I can finally get back to Morgana”  
“Yes, run to your sick girlfriend you sweet summerchild”  
************************************  
“Hey, Morgana”  
“Hm?”  
“Are you asleep?”  
“I was”  
“Sorry”  
“Mm. As an apology you can come here and cuddle with me”  
“I think I can arrange that”  
“How did your thing with Gwaine go?”  
“Well…”  
“What?”  
“We might have broken into your father’s office?”  
“You did not!”  
“We did”  
At this point Morgana was sitting bolt upright in her bed.  
“Why would you of all people break into father’s office?”  
“Well, you know how I can’t say no to Gwaine’s puppy-face? And he wanted to do the chapple-pie with cheddar, but there was no cheddar left at the store, so he decided we should steal it out of your fathers mini-fridge. Which has its own lock by the way”  
“He put a lock on his cheddar stock? Oh, I am going to tease him mercilessly about this”  
“But please don’t tell him about this whole affair”  
“Of course, I won’t!”  
“So, you’re not angry about this?”  
“Gwen, why would I be angry? If anything, I love you more for this! You broke into my father’s office to steal his cheddar! This is bloody amazing!”  
************************************  
The next few days Gwen was on tenterhooks. She constantly expected policemen to burst into her classes and arrest her for cheddar-theft. But when one week had passed she started to relax again.  
The next Friday, Gwen was sitting in the cafeteria with the whole crew. Morgana and Arthur were arguing about something stupid, Leon was trying to calm them down, Gwaine was stuffing himself with food and everything was good in the world.  
That was until Mr. Pendragon burst through the doors and bellowed: “Who stole my cheddar?”

**Author's Note:**

> The amount of times I had to type cheddar for this… Anyway, I did some research and I found out that people ACTUALLY eat apple-pie with cheese! What the fuck? I also found articles about what kind of cheese is best to use. Cheddar is apparently preferred so this story is actually accurate. I had to read about fucking chapple-pie and had to imagine what it would taste like. I won’t get that out of my head to soon. Please just know and appreciate that I made sacrifices for this.


End file.
